Ok first of all is unlost even a word... spell check says no. Fuck it, it's
a word now, at least for the duration of this post.. Anywho...I have decided
after taking the time to explore being lost, letting myself feel these feelings
and exploring my options that I think I am rather done with being lost and am
ready to get unlost. In reviewing all my options I believe the best one for me
personally is the last one... the other! What an exciting and terrifying path I
am embarking on!
To be honest the other one that had warranted some very serious consideration on my part was to pick another religion and go with it. It was the less terrifying of the options and to be honest it got me this far. I wondered if perhaps I just wasn’t doing it right, maybe I hadn’t tried hard enough or missed an essential aspect. I reviewed a lot of my notes and101 books while I considered this option but felt restless in my spirit. My heart felt heavy. It was like trying on beautiful dress, one that left you gasping at how perfect it was, and then putting it on and realizing you look like a fat Basset Hound in a sparkly sausage casing.
Now I know that there is no such thing as a perfect religion, everything is flawed. Mainly because everyone is flawed, and they take all their flaws with them into everything they do, including religion. Religion can never be perfect because we are never perfect. Religion is a formula; follow steps ABC to get result 123. For some people this formula works beautifully, others not so much. The formulas themselves follow the norms and morals of the religion, which in turn is a reflection of the culture that the religion is in. The religion influences the culture, the culture influences the religion.
At the end of the day, however, religion is a creation of people. Somebody (or a group of somebodies) had to invent the religion. The idea for the religion came from either a study of the human condition, study of the natural world or interpretation of dreams or visions. Eventually these ideas become codified, the rituals are repeated until voila: a religion is born. This religion will be shaped by the people, the geography and contact with other cultures. It may evolve and carry forward or it may slowly linger and eventually die off. It is ever changing and evolving. Don’t believe me, look at the progression of Christianity: from Catholic to Progressive, or in the Abrahamic Faiths: from Judaism to Islam.
While many of these faiths have the same roots they differ vastly in what they believe and how they practice it. Even within the larger faith groups there are disagreements and new factions rising daily; look at all the different Pagan groups, or Christian Groups or Jewish groups. I mean if they can’t get their shit together and agree then what hope does a pain in the ass unruly Celtic Redneck have?!?
So I am beginning to believe that the way out of being lost for me is to not move into a prefabricated religion and instead focus on building a spiritual home for myself. Maybe I need to build my relationship with the divine again from the ground up. The thought that is hounding me now is not that I am lost, but that I have no idea how or even where to start. I have always had a structure and experts to guide me. I have had priests, nuns, pastors, priestesses and highly regarded authors to help me on the way. I have had bibles, holy texts and books of shadows to light the way. How do I become my own light? How do I become my own guide? How do I build something of beauty and reverence without becoming an arrogant asshole?
To be honest the other one that had warranted some very serious consideration on my part was to pick another religion and go with it. It was the less terrifying of the options and to be honest it got me this far. I wondered if perhaps I just wasn’t doing it right, maybe I hadn’t tried hard enough or missed an essential aspect. I reviewed a lot of my notes and101 books while I considered this option but felt restless in my spirit. My heart felt heavy. It was like trying on beautiful dress, one that left you gasping at how perfect it was, and then putting it on and realizing you look like a fat Basset Hound in a sparkly sausage casing.
Now I know that there is no such thing as a perfect religion, everything is flawed. Mainly because everyone is flawed, and they take all their flaws with them into everything they do, including religion. Religion can never be perfect because we are never perfect. Religion is a formula; follow steps ABC to get result 123. For some people this formula works beautifully, others not so much. The formulas themselves follow the norms and morals of the religion, which in turn is a reflection of the culture that the religion is in. The religion influences the culture, the culture influences the religion.
At the end of the day, however, religion is a creation of people. Somebody (or a group of somebodies) had to invent the religion. The idea for the religion came from either a study of the human condition, study of the natural world or interpretation of dreams or visions. Eventually these ideas become codified, the rituals are repeated until voila: a religion is born. This religion will be shaped by the people, the geography and contact with other cultures. It may evolve and carry forward or it may slowly linger and eventually die off. It is ever changing and evolving. Don’t believe me, look at the progression of Christianity: from Catholic to Progressive, or in the Abrahamic Faiths: from Judaism to Islam.
While many of these faiths have the same roots they differ vastly in what they believe and how they practice it. Even within the larger faith groups there are disagreements and new factions rising daily; look at all the different Pagan groups, or Christian Groups or Jewish groups. I mean if they can’t get their shit together and agree then what hope does a pain in the ass unruly Celtic Redneck have?!?
So I am beginning to believe that the way out of being lost for me is to not move into a prefabricated religion and instead focus on building a spiritual home for myself. Maybe I need to build my relationship with the divine again from the ground up. The thought that is hounding me now is not that I am lost, but that I have no idea how or even where to start. I have always had a structure and experts to guide me. I have had priests, nuns, pastors, priestesses and highly regarded authors to help me on the way. I have had bibles, holy texts and books of shadows to light the way. How do I become my own light? How do I become my own guide? How do I build something of beauty and reverence without becoming an arrogant asshole?
Like your posts a lot, but also dislike your choice of language a lot ... smiles ... Love, cat.
ReplyDelete... swearing men are a given, but swearing women are a disgrace ... smiles ... Love, cat.
Delete