Monday, January 7, 2013

Nothing Special... Part One

I’m sure that I am writing on a topic covered by many Pagans, Witches, Heathens, Druids and others whose names I have not yet learned. We’ve all seen it, the pagan (or any other term under the pagan umbrella) who is special, and has no problem telling the world how special he/she is!

Maybe she was descended from a victim of the Salem Witch Trials, so being a witch is in their blood, which always cracks me up since if you read your history the “Salem Witches” were actually all Puritains. Some of them had quite the reputation as being great Christians, such as Rebecca Nurse. Now if you tell this wonderful descendant about this they claim that there really were Witches in Salem, that they had a full blown Coven working at the time. Well, that I cannot verify, I know far more about general history than I do specifics, and my knowledge of Salem is limited to internet searches and the odd book here and there. However I do have a good dose of curiosity, common sense and a hunger for knowledge. So I have to say my BS detector does tend to spark up at that one!

Then there is the “my mother and her mother and her mother were all Witches”, again I am hesitant to believe them. Granted we are now well past 50 years since Gardner, Alexander Saunders, Doreen Valiente and others whose names have escaped me first began publishing on the subject of Witchcraft, so there is a possibility this person is telling the truth. My personal experience has taught me those that are desperate to convince you they come from a long line of Witches tend to be trying to convince themselves. I’m not saying people in their families did not practice Witchcraft, I’m just not sure they would have called it that.

My own Grandmother does things that some might consider Witchcraft, for example she talks to her plants and prays when she knits. Well I talk to my plants and when creating gifts for others I pray over them to infuse them with positive energy… but I can promise you my Grandmother would not call herself a Witch! There are hundreds of things woven into our culture that have their roots in ancient Pagan practices, but doing some of them, such as throwing salt over your shoulder, do not automatically make you a Witch. I know many people with elders in their families who are very wise, have interesting practices, are great at whipping up an herbal tea that their Grandmother used when they were sick and are the perfect example of the old wise woman we all seem to dream of. But they do not consider themselves Witches.

Another popular answer is they descended from one of the nine million lost during the “burning times” when “all our ancient covens and knowledge was ruthlessly stamped out by the Catholic Church!”…. Ok, now my blood is boiling! The Nine Million count is a HUGE over estimation and I am still amazed at how many people quote it and use it as though it was fact! The highest estimate I have seen put forth by scholars who have examined the records is around 100 000. Now I am not saying this is an appalling figure and that it is a piece of history we should ignore. It is part of our history and it is something we must strive against happening again.

However, many of those accused and put to death were not witches, most (if not all) were Christians. There is a whole host of reasons why these people were accused but my research indicates to me there are three main reasons: Greed, Fear and torture. Either the person had land or valuable property, or the person was accused because people had bad things happening around them and needed to blame somebody/were afraid of the person they accused or they were denounced by another who under torture named them. Now this is obviously a very condensed explanation of a topic that entire books can be written upon, and I have neither the space here, nor the educational credentials to argue any further. I direct your attention to the end of this post for more information. I will simply sum up by saying that there are chances that many of us have blood ties of one form or another to those victims, that in it of itself does not mean you are a witch.

My own family has some entanglements with that time. Up until the early 1500’s our family was located in Germany, we had some land we farmed, and were actually very devout Catholics. Then this guy called Martin Luther came along 1517 and nailed some Theses on the door of a Catholic Church. These ideas caught on like wildfire and this “Reformation” came about, causing a split between Catholicism and Protestantism. By the 1550’s Germany was becoming a rather volatile place and my Family, who had remained Catholic, and they figured it was safer to find a more socially hospitable place. They packed their belongings up and over 25 years much of the family made their way to England. Some of them disappear from the records at this time, many of them women. I attribute this to the fact that all of them were younger women, who were in their childbearing years, at a time when maternal survival rates were not as high as we enjoy today.

The family began to settle in England when some dude called Henry decided he wanted to divorce this Lady called Katherine, and marry a girl named Anne! (Henry VIII would split from the Catholic Church in order to divorce his catholic wife Queen Katherine and marry Anne Bolyne). Over the next 30-40 years there was a huge upheaval around the rise of the Anglican Church, then the time of Bloody Queen Mary, followed by the reign of the Anglican Queen Elizabeth I. Having seen the trouble in Germany, a few of my ancestors felt it would be safer not to stick around, so they tiptoed over to Ireland, where they stayed until My Grandfather came to Canada. This history of my family is fascinating, and I love going through some of the genealogy records my Grandmother collected, but this history does not make me more entitled to be High Priestess than another. All it does is give me some ancestral insights into a time of social upheaval.

The other great reason I seem to get from these people desperate to prove how special they are is that they are the reincarnation of Cleopatra, Morgan Le Fay, Merlin etc. (An old web comic called Oh My Gods, created by Shivian Balaris touched on this once and the main character Stan commented that there was no use fighting over who was Cleopatra in a past life as she “Obviously Reincarnated as Cher”. The comic is not in webprint anymore but you can still get copies of the books). These people talk on and on about how  powerful they are in a past life, how people dare not mess with them, how they are seeking to teach others the wonders of their ancient lore. Those people I tend to give a wide berth to and check when they open their bags for their antipsychotic medication. Now don’t get me wrong, as a Pagan I believe in reincarnation. I am positive I have been incarnated more than once. I have a very strange aversion to chamber pots. I’m not kidding; the blasted things always send me into a rage and make me want to vomit. I think I probably spent a life time or ten cleaning them (and now thank the Goddess daily for the invention of indoor plumbing). I believe I have dealt with many things in past lives, but I don’t think I was anybody big or famous. Chances are I was another “everyday Jane”, just living my life, learning what I could along the way. These :Look at how famous I was” people tend to make me roll my eyes.

The problem is everyone wants to be “Special”, “Powerful”, “Mysterious” and admired. Well I hate to point this out… but suck it up Princesses, you’re not. But take heart, neither am I

… To be continued…


Burning Times websites

http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_burn.htm

http://ebooks.library.cornell.edu/w/witch/browse_title.html

http://www.summerlands.com/crossroads/remembrance/answers.htm


Oh My Gods

http://ohmygods.co.uk/

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Writers Block

So as this year is drawing to a close I seem to have an extreme case of writers block (actually it would be more like blogger's block wouldn't it) but I digress... As I mentioned earlier this week we have had an illness in my family, well its bad, palliative illness actually. We have been at the hospital every day for two weeks with her, my mother in law. It has been very hard on all of us, but especially my husband, who in addition to seeing his mother deteriorate, has been taking on the burden of being the contact person between the hospital and the family. I have been trying hard to support him, but fear I may be falling short.

I really have no excuse to be falling short in this case, my mother passed away years ago and I know how hard it is to loose your mom. There are no other words for it, it sucks. I am not the one having to make all the phone calls to the various family members. I am not the one who has to get all the final instructions from her, nor am I the one who has to talk to the doctors and nurses regarding her condition. I have the easier side of this, I am with him as much as I can be, holding his hand, hugging him, and telling him that I love him and am at his side, whatever he needs.

So again, no excuse. But I find my emotions have been fluctuating lately. I am finding myself with an overwhelming sense of sorrow at this. I get along well with her, she is a very nice, down to earth woman. I know it must have been hard on her to hear her son was getting divorced, and then shortly afterwards that he was dating a woman younger than he was. She did not have to welcome me into the home or the family, but she did. She treated me like one of the brood right from day one. At a time when I was feeling very insecure about my place in this family she made me one of them and put my fears aside within minutes of the first family get together I attended.

I find myself feeling resentful, resentful that this is happening to her, and not to some other individual I know who has been much less kind and compassionate to me and my loved ones. I resent that my husband has to shoulder such an enormous burden, and that it hurts him so. That resentment ties heavily into my anger, anger at the doctors for not being able to cure her illness, anger at her genetics since this disease has taken many other family members. I am angry at her body for betraying her (its funny how one can not be angry at the person, but can be very angry at their physical form. I am not angry at her as I know this is not what she wanted, but I am angry at her body for allowing this disease to happen). I am angry at myself for all this anger.

Nobody can help what has happened, and nothing I can do or say will change it. I have prayed much in the past few months since we found out she was ill, asking for it to go away, asking for the cure to be found, but I cannot pray this away. I am at a point, as we all are, that I have to accept this course, and I do not like it. I just want to yell and to scream, punch somebody in the face (although who I do not know). I want to shake the doctors over and over again and yell at them that its not fair. Although it would do me no good, for they are as saddened by this as I am.

The doctors and nurses have all been angels of compassion from day one. They took the time to get to know my mother in law, what she wanted as treatment options, what she needed. They have been there every step of the way, holding her hand, explaining things in a manner that somebody as simple as I am can understand. They have been fighting this illness with her from day one for over 20 years with her. And when we had to admit her to the hospital, they took every step that they could, did everything that was within their power to help her. Even now, while I sit warm in bed there are nurses checking in with her, making sure she is not in pain, holding her hand when she needs it.

Throughout the past few weeks I have had lots of thoughts going through my mind, lots of things I have been mulling over. I have been thinking a lot about my views on death and dying these past few weeks. And about how scared I am for my husband, his father passed on two and a half years ago from this illness, now it is waiting to claim his mother. I am feeling sorry for myself, thinking about how much I will miss her, and feeling sad that my husband has such pain and sorrow on his hands.  Between that and feeling stressed I have not been the most pleasant person to be around, and my poor husband, who already has the weight of the world on his shoulders, has had to put up with a moody me. At a time when he needs me to be there for him, I am afraid I am falling short.

So with all that going on, I am afraid I have hit a case of bloggers block. The ideas I have jotted down on notebooks and on half typed on this blog have been left sitting there, I just cannot seem to get them finished at this time. For now my attention is focused on being the person my husband needs at his side, and supporting the family to the very best of my abilities.

Wishing you all a Blessed Holiday Season and a Happy New Year.

Yours Humbly

The Redneck Pagan

 

Monday, December 17, 2012

An Apology

 Just to give a small update: I apologize for the lack of recent posts. We have had an illness in the family and my time has been redirected to caring for my family. I am chipping away at a few ideas and hope to have something soon.

Thank you.

Yours Humbly

The Redneck Pagan